In life, all we have are choices and decisions to make from the time we open our eyes. Each choice and decision we make is a gateway leading us down a particular path. Often, picking what may seem like the easiest way of navigating through life feels convenient and temporarily satisfying. However, moving through life constantly going after what appears easy will make you blind to realizing that, in all reality, there is no bypassing the "hard." Everything is hard, you just have to choose yours!
I was conversing with a close friend, Niara, and she encouraged me to pursue law school because, ever since childhood, we have always wanted to be lawyers. She's in her first year of law school, and I'm a paralegal who just got promoted to the litigation department, the highest level a paralegal can go at my job. Long story short, we began having the law school conversation. I said I've always wanted to attend law school; my family keeps encouraging me to apply, but after hearing about your experience, it seems hard to manage, especially with a job and a child. She said, Yeah, it is, but everything is hard; you just have to pick your hard, and you're already putting all this work and years into this career path. You've always wanted to do this, and you would be great at it. I know that it’s for you!
It just made me think deeply—what exactly was I running from? I know I'm intelligent and can be disciplined enough to get through it, and I would always battle myself. I’d start to study and then consider the time it would take out of my life, and eventually I’d put the books back down. I didn't care to endure the level of commitment and sacrifice it would take to reach the other side. However, the cost of not being willing to put in work now would be working under attorneys, living out my dreams, and being reminded daily of how far I could have gone while living a financially more challenging life that would deter me from comfortably living the way I envision for my son and me. I would be limiting my abilities and doing hard work for attorneys, day in and out, for fractions of what they're going home with month to month. Both realities are complex; one is more challenging and demanding as credentials are being built, and one makes the ability to be financially free harder to achieve; I'd just have to choose my hard.
That one line resonated with me so much, and it instantly sent me into deep thought, shifting my mindset that I just had to open the laptop immediately after hanging up. One line my friend shared with me was powerful enough to make me have an epiphany about my life! This is off topic, but, CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY!
An Easy Life Is Nothing More Than An Illusion
We live in a time where quick wins and shortcuts are glorified.
What about the person you want to become? What about the life you dream of living?
The "easy way out" isn't going to bring you there, and it often leads to emptiness and regretful "what ifs."
Waking up early to grind and put in extra work is hard.
Living paycheck to paycheck because you didn't chase your dream? Also hard.
Building a business is hard.
Working a job you hate for the next 20 years? Just as hard.
Healing from trauma is hard.
Staying stuck in it and dumping your baggage onto others? Even harder.
We avoid discipline because it's uncomfortable. But so is the disappointment we feel when the regret creeps in from settling for a life that taking "the easy way" out has afforded you; it shows up later and it cuts deeper.
Discipline is temporary pain for long-term benefits.
Disappointment is long-term pain for temporary moments of ease.
Which one would you rather live with? The hard work now or the regret behind settling later?
The Price of Regret
Regret is one of the heaviest emotions we carry as humans, and it's triggered when you see people living out the same dreams that you refused to work hard to achieve.
You'll rarely regret trying.
You'll almost always regret not trying.
There are so many of my passions I regret not chasing.
I constantly daydream about how much further I would have been if I had remained focused and stopped trying to find the most convenient route.
Don't get me wrong—I have never been a slouch—but I've always known in the back of my head that I wasn't pushing myself to my fullest potential.
A lot of my skills and talents came naturally, and I used them to my benefit to breeze through life. Other people would be impressed, and in the back of my mind, I knew I was barely trying.
I was wasting my gifts because I wasn't sharpening them often; I used them just enough to get by. I never entirely challenged myself to grow in uncomfortable ways.
I was always comfortable, and new ventures that made me uncomfortable also sparked my insecurities, so I never followed through, which is a hard reality to reflect on and accept.
I've learned that true confidence is developed from showing up when it's hard, not when it's comfortable.
We want the result without the process, but the process is where character is built. Purpose doesn't show up without obstacles. It's earned. You can suffer now for what you want or suffer later for what you settle for.
You're Already Doing Hard Things
It doesn't matter how rich, poor, or in between you are. Life is hard, period. We're all already carrying something while navigating through life, whether it's stress, doubt, fear, heavy responsibilities, or pain.
So, since you're already doing something hard, why not choose the kind of hard that will move you forward and closer to success?
"The weight of discipline is lighter than the burden of disappointment."
You don't escape the struggle by doing nothing. You just choose a different kind of struggle. So why not choose the one that gives you freedom on the other side?
Choose the Hard That Develops You
Next time you're faced with a choice—between what's comfortable and hard-working—think back to reading this!
Easy won't build you.
Comfort won't carry you.
Avoidance won't elevate you.
But choosing your hard with intention? It will take you to levels beyond your vision.
You can stay where you are, or you can grow.
You can settle, or you can thrive.
Either way, it's going to be complicated. That’s what life entails.
I just hope you pick the "hard" that's worth it.
Amen to this! Choose your hard, and choose it wisely💪🏽