Self-love is the best love!
The encouragement I wish someone gave me
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I can’t help but think of ways to treat myself because right now, no one needs my love more than me. This year I want to encourage single women and women who find themselves in relationships that don’t make them feel special or deserving to be intentional with pouring extra love and attention into themselves. “Self-love is the highest frequency that attracts to you everything you desire” (Idil Ahmed). Don’t sit around waiting on someone else to bring you fulfillment; it starts with you. YOU ARE special; you are deserving, but you have to see it first.
I know most women feel as though Valentine’s Day is about someone else making them feel special, and without having that, the feeling of loneliness, sadness, and insecurity can intensify. I blame half of those feelings on not developing enough self-love and the rest on societal expectations created by people on social media using visual and verbal representations of what a good life should look like. I wish it wasn’t normalized for people to build their confidence and relevance through societal standards. Too many people feel as though not upholding a certain lifestyle image equates to not having a “soft girl life” or "motion,” and it’s just not true. Stop allowing your self-worth to be measured through the lens of someone else’s eyes or someone else’s life. Most people are only going to show the glitz and glam of their lives, understandably. Yes, the image looks nice, but in all reality, the image someone paints is just that. Aesthetics and materials do not determine whether someone is being loved, respected, and supported in the ways they deserve. Someone could have all of the romanticized aesthetics from the worst relationship that they’ve been in mentally, emotionally, or even physically.
My point is, don’t waste your time dwelling on a love you’re not experiencing when you see visuals of what receiving love may look like. What exactly are you dwelling on? As women, we have to step our standards up from the inside—out. Being loved is so much more than being provided with picture-perfect moments and materials.
Don’t get me wrong; in no way am I saying women who are showered with items aren’t experiencing real love and peace within their relationship. There are so many women who have truly met their prince charming, and he’s a perfect gentleman to them in every way. It is absolutely beautiful to experience someone who thinks of you enough to make your days special beyond holidays, someone who’s loving enough to be attentive to the little details about you, and contributes to the fulfillment in your heart overall. Hell yeah, 1000x over to my girls who can share that you have someone who shows up for you with intent to love, protect, and respect you with a nice coin to splurge on the side when the time calls for it. You are the blueprint! We need examples that go far beyond materials to show us that healthy, intentional, and careful love still exists. That’s the love worth waiting for, and I wish that gentle love on ALL of my ladies, including ME!
At the same time, when you find yourself not looking forward to Valentine’s Day, try to find ways to see how it’s just as beautiful to spend the day pouring into your own cup and loving on yourself a little more!! It doesn’t make you lame. It doesn’t make you any less worthy than the girl’s who are getting pampered. Relationships are beautiful when they’re healthy and happy, but not having one shouldn’t define your happiness and confidence. You can still have a great day doing things that make you feel good. Comparison is the theif of joy; you should practice silencing it. Treat yourself to something you wouldn’t on a regular day. You can even make someone else smile who may be feeling down, and it will lift your spirits up! Your time to experience being catered to will come, and when it does, I hope it comes with loyalty, respect, thoughtfulness, and gentleness! Until then, practice showing up for yourself the way you would want someone to show up for you. Love and luxury shouldn’t wait on you to get a partner to be experienced in life. Don’t let the day of love pass you without embracing all that it can be in your life. Start positioning yourself to be ready to receive the love you desire.
Self-love is the best love; you can’t expect people to love on you properly when you haven’t taken the time to practice loving on yourself enough to set standards that you can stand firm on. The standards we hold ourselves to will be the same standards that signal to the people we encounter how they’re expected to show up for us. Practice possessing the qualities of the person you want to invite into your life. It’s time to normalize romanticizing every part of your life with or without a partner involved.
P.S. I’ve been there… You’re not alone. You deserve it allll <3
Alexa, play….
I love this sis! Looking forward to more of your writing pieces. ~xoxo~
I love this 🥰